Tag: tanka

January: New Beginnings, and Start of Endings.

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Welcome to a new beginning for this blog, or whatever this is called. Haha. LOL. Man, I don’t want to sound like a professional or whatever, I just want to keep this me.

I always wanted having monthly reflections/journal every end of the month. What a way to start it with this, a journal that makes me question, “is it okay to use this time for this?”

Well, yes. I have tons of work to prepare for, other concerns. But having time for things that I really like doing, which I will share in a minute, keeps me sane and content in the midst of the pandemonium around us.

January is a great way to start this year. Yes, it is far from perfect. It is actually complicated, draining, but I never looked the other way. I faced it all with all of me. I am continuing to teach myself of things that I already know, yet it took me just now to apply.

I fully committed on writing journals, reading, taking videos, writing poems, sketching, and exercising every now and then. Everything takes a long time to do all in all, but it is indeed necessary to do such activities to keep me motivated and content.

And with that being said, here are some poems that I will share. Before that, I would like to say that I will share ALL of them in the future. I write haikus everyday, and tankas + tanagas every week.

For now, here are the Tankas that I was able to write for the month of January.

We begin again

as colors fill the night sky

all the light, the pain

just so we could learn to fly

in the midst of these tough times

Week One

where all these roads lead

starting from the very seed

planted from afar

keep pushing, keep dreaming on

grow as the man you dream of

Week Two

go and let it burn

not for you to change your turn

but for you to go

be the light in this darkness

before you fade all the way

Week Three

ride against the wind

feel the breeze of what is left

inhale what you need

exhale what makes your smile lost

and be who you are freely

Week Four

Those are the poems that I can share so far, and as mentioned earlier, I also started sketching. At the same time, I decided to improve such artwork through digitalizing them. Here are some of my works for this month featuring KPOP sensations Red Velvet, BTS, and Black Pink.

  • SEULGI
  • IRENE
  • YERI
  • JOY
  • WENDY
  • JUNGKOOK
  • JIMIN
  • TAEHYUNG
  • SUGA
  • NAMJOON
  • J HOPE
  • JIN
  • JENNIE
  • ROSE
  • LISA
  • JISOO

Before I say good bye, I also went back to reading books. I managed to finish reading Meditations, and now I’m in the midst of reading Valis.

If there is one thing that I can take away from this month, it’s that I have to do my duty as a human being and be content with myself. Yes, there are times where I long for admiration, but slowly but surely, I am learning more about what I can do, and things that are in right that also makes me happy.

As long as you are not hurting anyone, just do you, do what’s right, do what makes you happy.

See you when I see you 🙂

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Tanka

TANKA
短歌
Tanka is a 31-syllable poem from the rich
genre of classical Japan.
It follows the form 5-7-5-7-7.
I got introduced this form of poetry after I
watched Makoto Shinkai’s film
“The Garden of Words”
Ever since then, I started writing such
poetry to express my feelings and the world
that I see in front of me, and in my dreams.
Such genre helped me to express myself in
a manner of being self-aware and at the
same time, open to mistakes and
improvement.

短歌
the infamous bay
used to swim in hues of blue
shadowed by today
with trashes of me and you
as the bay swims all in gray

短歌

its resurrection
worked through the deaths
of many
no peaceful notion
still linked to controversy
and endless toxicity

短歌

the life of this bay
nothing but a metaphor
a sad song at play
of the men of manila
and the future of today

短歌

is this real or not?
just a dream or a nightmare?
can’t tell which is which
am I alive, and you’re dead?
or I’m dead and you’re alive?

短歌

under the gray skies
a few minutes to prepare
for twilight to come
for something beyond
human
to unmask itself to me

短歌

it is time to go
with all this weight I carry
over my shoulder
that I will try to shoulder
until I can let it go

短歌

an impatient girl
who screams like a
psychopath
who hates the whole world
yet barely understands it
maybe soon she will be free

短歌

here is another
another chance for my life
here is a new year
a new year to start again
to begin again, and live.

短歌

so I ran away
to a world that cannot stay
a world made of you
a world that never felt true
for it lies on us two

短歌

and it led me back
got lost in manila too
together with you
and there we found peace
and truth
a night tailored for us two

短歌

I stopped and looked back
why am I under attack?
there I found myself
teaching, while struggling to
walk
and there is no running now

短歌

so, what do I do?
now that I know what is true?
can I get a clue?
or should I just wait for you?
but who in the hell are you?

短歌

’til we meet again
with this temporary pain
and this long bright rain
you told me to keep my sane
because we will meet again

短歌

built myself from scratch
just to fall back down again
but I will not stop
as I learn from all the pain
I will smile, and start again

短歌

looking back, I see
a colorless memory
talking silently
telling me that I should be
the man that I dream to be

短歌

man, what should I do?
how will I be free of you?
is there a way out?
or am I just not ready?
to be who I really am?

短歌

close your eyes and see
something you’ve been
dreaming of
then, open your eyes
and take a look at the sky
live like it is far from lies

短歌

and now I wake up
with the same morning
coffee
same blue cigarette
but different blue inside
with tears still trying to hide

短歌

right behind the doors
lies how true life was before
just before it soars
to reach life beneath the core
it went right back to the floor

短歌

waiting for something
something I really don’t
know
in this unknown realm
I found who I really am
forgot I waited for it

短歌

I want you to know
I may have fallen before
even crushed my core
but I will put on a show
for my very own last ride

短歌

run away from hue
towards something you don’t
know
to a garden of
symphonies and green roses
a garden of all of hue

短歌

darling, wait for me
baby, please hold me tightly
tell me what you see
in your heart, filled with
questions
is there future for us two?

短歌

I wish to be lost
escape this world at all cost
see the same old posts
that saw my being at most
a life that I lost

短歌

I heard, she returned
I have to really admit
I really missed her
I still have this care for her
after all this time


短歌

I decided to
write what I have been
dreaming
not a tomorrow
but the very yesterday
that is far away

短歌

stuck in this small space
barely seeing any light
but all is alright
it needs to, or else I’ll go
somewhere I once was

短歌

looking for a place
where I will be who I am
not knowing a thing
and there I found what I need
when I was told to be me

短歌

so, where do I go?
when I cannot fall asleep?
I am tired of it
but I have to keep going
for life will soon be alright

短歌

I feel somewhat lost
trying to move at all cost
trying to escape
the circle I got stuck with
still fighting, not losing hope

短歌

so I lay outside
looking at the very stars
that knows who I am
more than I even know me
one day, maybe, I will be –

短歌

taken by my mind
to a bay I always knew
something from a dream
screaming in serenity
longing for it to be real

短歌

so I put aside
all the things I should have
done
looking from outside
to understand what I hide
and why I set it aside

短歌

I look at myself
and I see everyone else
then I looked at you
surrounded by this deep
blue
and I saw myself

短歌

a storm brewing in
for months, it stayed deep
within
but now, it rages
how long will this part go
on?
will I still live? and go on?

This isn’t goodbye, it’s see you kids later :)

“I need to put my mask on”
for I’m trying to go on
far from the peace that I long

remembering every song

that got me right here
that is worth all doubts and fear

not showing a tear

every morning I wake up
wondering how I can stop
all your doubts and fears that stop

or pause your way to the top

I sometimes stay still
waiting for silence, for peace

that i barely have

I used to think that
maybe I am not for this
that I failed you all
during times I lose control

sometimes I think I will fall

every night, I pause and think
how things will change if I blink
how to stop the ship to sink

trying to find every link

so.
I decided to go on
decided not to out a mask on
went out of my comfort zone
have my ears and heart on
not just with math, but with what’s going on
I remember, that even when I’m out
it’s always thoughts of you all that I shout
Asking for advice
Praying for guidance

just to help, to teach, and to educate all of you

in math,
I made sure that the numbers matter
at the same time,
I tried my best to remind that everything that you do matters

for you all matter

I doubted myself
but with all your help
your simple gestures
saying “sir I finally get it”
those words, without you kids knowing
leaves my heart continuously smiling
I wish at that time I also said that

“I finally get it”

I finally get
why I wake up at 4 in the morning
and still think of you all in the evening
it is indeed my first year in teaching
yet you kids made me feel everything

everything that I needed to feel

I found peace in the chaos of our classes

I found peace in the spaces of your noises

thank you, for I found who I am when I am with all of you

thank God, for I found peace, when I found all of you

.
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a collection of poems (haiku, tanka, tanaga, and a free verse) for all of the wonderful souls that made my first year in teaching, the most grueling, frustrating, yet the most amazing, wonderful, blessed, and rewarding time of my life so far.
.
.
.
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to 9B, 9G, 9H, and ofc 9L
This is Sir A, Sir Alcantara
signing of as your Mathematics Teacher

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Dream Girl

take me all the way

tell me we can stay right here

far away from life

let’s leave footprints on the sand

as we hold each others’ hand

–

let our eyes open

even when they are at dark

in case we wake up

let’s do what we cannot do

and pretend there’s me and you

–

and the stars aligned

when our red strings intertwined

as your eyes and mine

even with stories behind

it felt like it’s the first time

–

dreams are now alive

as you sit in front of me

with cups of coffee

smiles all over, with stories

writing timeless memories

–

a date became two

until it became our lives

whether day or night

you are the main source of light

in this long dream I once knew

–

the sound of alarm

just before it even counts

I tried to resist

but I failed to keep them close

now I see this world of you

–

without the presence of you

–

but maybe one day

we will see each other again

with lives we can’t comprehend

and maybe try to tie loose ends

–

maybe I will see you again

in front of me at the station

back where we wait to go home

as we head in different destinations

–

but maybe, this is reality

and we have to wake up

and maybe, it wasn’t meant to be

that’s why our stories stopped

–

still, I see you all over me

until my world stops to twirl

This is me, sincerely

saying goodbye to you, dream girl

Where the night crawlers are

Today, Tomorrow, Everyday by Elray Alcantara

do you see your steps?

or do you need me as guide?

is the moon enough?

or do you need a street lamp?

I asked her all this.

No need to worry

The dark may eat my vision

Still I will be fine

I can close my eyes with you

She told me all this.

We walked with the moon

Shined with all of the street lights

We crawled all over

We promised not to let go

No one did, until morning

Dreams of You

I dreamed about you

out of nowhere, out of blue

my eyes stuck with you

my heart screaming something true

“move! before it is all due!”

you were waiting then

beautiful even when blank

what is on your mind?

I know that this is not real

unlike what I really feel

I know this will end

but I can’t help but wonder

do you see this too?

do you dream about me too?

what does this mean for us two?

“is this the only place for us?”

“a world where we can go on, a world where we can’t hold on.”

The end, maybe the end.

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What is on your mind?

Is there something you want to find?

Is the mirror not enough for you?

Why can’t you see what’s within you?

Where will our memories go?

What will be our tomorrow?

How could I possibly know?

Can we just stay and say no?

like a cloudy sky in a starry night

you chose to hide all the stars

just for you

What do you want me to do?

Let you take me in too?

I wonder what peace is

Is it the sight of you?

being with you?

Or is peace being without you?

but maybe

this time around it is done.

no breath, no silhouette, none.

where are you under this sun?

will you forever be gone?

——