“Lost in Manila” tells a lot of stories based on the nostalgic atmosphere brought by the city of Manila.
–
In celebration of Manila day this 24th of June, Lost in Manila can be looked at as a love letter to the city. Manila is not perfect, but the hopes and dreams it holds is something to behold.
–
Manila is home to the community that lives in the city, and the people who happen to be there while finding their way to a place they can call home.
–
Thus, the second possible meaning of Lost in Manila was born. It can be looked at as a love letter to the people who came from different cities and provinces who happen to be in the same city as you. Dreaming to be someone, or just as lost as you are.
–
As for me, I was lost for a long time until I found myself when they found me. To all the people I met, who left, who changed me for the better, and those who stayed with me to this day, until we meet again.
–
Maybe one day, we can finally runaway, and get lost in manila once again.
–
alternate links:
–
Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwXDQVjQmnY
–
Soundcloud:
https://soundcloud.com/the-unknown-388442016/lost-in-manila
Category: Uncategorized
L O V E










January: New Beginnings, and Start of Endings.
Welcome to a new beginning for this blog, or whatever this is called. Haha. LOL. Man, I don’t want to sound like a professional or whatever, I just want to keep this me.
I always wanted having monthly reflections/journal every end of the month. What a way to start it with this, a journal that makes me question, “is it okay to use this time for this?”
Well, yes. I have tons of work to prepare for, other concerns. But having time for things that I really like doing, which I will share in a minute, keeps me sane and content in the midst of the pandemonium around us.
January is a great way to start this year. Yes, it is far from perfect. It is actually complicated, draining, but I never looked the other way. I faced it all with all of me. I am continuing to teach myself of things that I already know, yet it took me just now to apply.
I fully committed on writing journals, reading, taking videos, writing poems, sketching, and exercising every now and then. Everything takes a long time to do all in all, but it is indeed necessary to do such activities to keep me motivated and content.
And with that being said, here are some poems that I will share. Before that, I would like to say that I will share ALL of them in the future. I write haikus everyday, and tankas + tanagas every week.
For now, here are the Tankas that I was able to write for the month of January.
We begin again
as colors fill the night sky
all the light, the pain
just so we could learn to fly
in the midst of these tough times
Week One
where all these roads lead
starting from the very seed
planted from afar
keep pushing, keep dreaming on
grow as the man you dream of
Week Two
go and let it burn
not for you to change your turn
but for you to go
be the light in this darkness
before you fade all the way
Week Three
ride against the wind
feel the breeze of what is left
inhale what you need
exhale what makes your smile lost
and be who you are freely
Week Four
Those are the poems that I can share so far, and as mentioned earlier, I also started sketching. At the same time, I decided to improve such artwork through digitalizing them. Here are some of my works for this month featuring KPOP sensations Red Velvet, BTS, and Black Pink.

SEULGI 
IRENE 
YERI 
JOY 
WENDY 
JUNGKOOK 
JIMIN 
TAEHYUNG 
SUGA 
NAMJOON 
J HOPE 
JIN 
JENNIE 
ROSE 
LISA 
JISOO
Before I say good bye, I also went back to reading books. I managed to finish reading Meditations, and now I’m in the midst of reading Valis.
If there is one thing that I can take away from this month, it’s that I have to do my duty as a human being and be content with myself. Yes, there are times where I long for admiration, but slowly but surely, I am learning more about what I can do, and things that are in right that also makes me happy.
As long as you are not hurting anyone, just do you, do what’s right, do what makes you happy.
See you when I see you 🙂
Stop the Killings

This death happened years ago, but if we look back, what happened next after such event? Did we stop such acts? Or is it still evident to this day?
We may have different view points in life, but such acts being shown by “some” of our policemen are not isolated cases. Ever since this administration started, the focus and the theme is violence. From deaths, to brutality, and even to unjust decisions.
The amount of deaths that occured from EJK, to red-tagging, and even due to COVID should be called out. The government should be accountable. For they are the ones who gave instructions, who decided to play Gods, and thus, a legion of blind supporters followed. In a world where hope is barely seen, no matter how old you are, wherever you are, it’s time we wake up and change what’s wrong.
The idea of “Bayan muna bago sarili” is not the ideal that will help us proceed. At times like this, in order for us to save our dear Inang Pilipinas, let us save ourselves first so we could fight for our country.
#stopthekilling #stoppolicebrutality
The Undertaker
The Undertaker was, is, and will always be a big part of my life. A character beyond a character, Mark Calaway was The Undertaker for 30 strong years.
–
Mark lived the gimmick, showcasing his dedication and loved for professional wrestling like no other.
–
The Undertaker is a character that will live on forever, as one of the most significant art pieces ever lived and explored.
–
From his early days of being the undead, to being haunted by his fiery past, being the prince of darkness, the american badass, big evil, the phenom, and back to where it all began, being Mark Calaway.
–
Mark was once said in his face, that no one will pay money to see him do what he love the most, but 30 years later, he more than proved that person wrong.
–
The amount of arenas and merchandise he sold out, the amount of fans he terrified, and of course, the amount of fans he gave joy to, is a testament to what an Icon should be.
–
The Undertaker is a phenomenal example that when you give everything that you have, and take advantage of all the opportunities presented to you to grow, not only will you become what you dream to be, you will also change lives of people for the better in your journey.
–
Thank you Undertaker for being a huge part of my childhood, to now in my 20s. I carry the lessons that I have learned from you, and I hope and pray that you will live on and enjoy your life as Mark Calaway.
–
#ThankYouTaker
Ocean Waves

–
far in the ocean I see
in a distant memory
life in its simplicity
a life where you are near me
–
you ride alone in your waves
I wondere if you still do
for I was there in your waves
I wandered my youth with you
–
those days in tokyo
do they still go back to you?
is it still with you?
–
I used to look right through you
because he and he likes you
and before I even knew
I have kept my love for you
–
those days in Kyoto
do they still go back to you?
is it still with you?
–
got to sleep in a bath tub
for you told me to do so
after I gave you the rub
while my arms were around you
–
I wanted to tell you things
that I failed to say before
but time wears powerful wings
now, we are far from before
–
these thoughts, while I’m in this train
even in that very plane
I hope to see you again
and talk to you once again
–
Maybe one day we will
Maybe one day we won’t
For now, I’ll let the waves take me
For now, I’ll ride the waves in memory
–
chasing colours

as the world crumbles
as the skies drown in colors
as we take cover
should I still chase the maiden?
the idea of heaven?
is it still worth it?
being resilient for you
keeping my patience
will I even get to you?
or will I fall before you?
–
O V E R T H I N K I N G




















Tanka

TANKA
短歌
Tanka is a 31-syllable poem from the rich
genre of classical Japan.
It follows the form 5-7-5-7-7.
I got introduced this form of poetry after I
watched Makoto Shinkai’s film
“The Garden of Words”
Ever since then, I started writing such
poetry to express my feelings and the world
that I see in front of me, and in my dreams.
Such genre helped me to express myself in
a manner of being self-aware and at the
same time, open to mistakes and
improvement.
短歌
the infamous bay
used to swim in hues of blue
shadowed by today
with trashes of me and you
as the bay swims all in gray
短歌
its resurrection
worked through the deaths
of many
no peaceful notion
still linked to controversy
and endless toxicity
短歌
the life of this bay
nothing but a metaphor
a sad song at play
of the men of manila
and the future of today
短歌
is this real or not?
just a dream or a nightmare?
can’t tell which is which
am I alive, and you’re dead?
or I’m dead and you’re alive?
短歌
under the gray skies
a few minutes to prepare
for twilight to come
for something beyond
human
to unmask itself to me
短歌
it is time to go
with all this weight I carry
over my shoulder
that I will try to shoulder
until I can let it go
短歌
an impatient girl
who screams like a
psychopath
who hates the whole world
yet barely understands it
maybe soon she will be free
短歌
here is another
another chance for my life
here is a new year
a new year to start again
to begin again, and live.
短歌
so I ran away
to a world that cannot stay
a world made of you
a world that never felt true
for it lies on us two
短歌
and it led me back
got lost in manila too
together with you
and there we found peace
and truth
a night tailored for us two
短歌
I stopped and looked back
why am I under attack?
there I found myself
teaching, while struggling to
walk
and there is no running now
短歌
so, what do I do?
now that I know what is true?
can I get a clue?
or should I just wait for you?
but who in the hell are you?
短歌
’til we meet again
with this temporary pain
and this long bright rain
you told me to keep my sane
because we will meet again
短歌
built myself from scratch
just to fall back down again
but I will not stop
as I learn from all the pain
I will smile, and start again
短歌
looking back, I see
a colorless memory
talking silently
telling me that I should be
the man that I dream to be
短歌
man, what should I do?
how will I be free of you?
is there a way out?
or am I just not ready?
to be who I really am?
短歌
close your eyes and see
something you’ve been
dreaming of
then, open your eyes
and take a look at the sky
live like it is far from lies
短歌
and now I wake up
with the same morning
coffee
same blue cigarette
but different blue inside
with tears still trying to hide
短歌
right behind the doors
lies how true life was before
just before it soars
to reach life beneath the core
it went right back to the floor
短歌
waiting for something
something I really don’t
know
in this unknown realm
I found who I really am
forgot I waited for it
短歌
I want you to know
I may have fallen before
even crushed my core
but I will put on a show
for my very own last ride
短歌
run away from hue
towards something you don’t
know
to a garden of
symphonies and green roses
a garden of all of hue
短歌
darling, wait for me
baby, please hold me tightly
tell me what you see
in your heart, filled with
questions
is there future for us two?
短歌
I wish to be lost
escape this world at all cost
see the same old posts
that saw my being at most
a life that I lost
短歌
I heard, she returned
I have to really admit
I really missed her
I still have this care for her
after all this time
短歌
I decided to
write what I have been
dreaming
not a tomorrow
but the very yesterday
that is far away
短歌
stuck in this small space
barely seeing any light
but all is alright
it needs to, or else I’ll go
somewhere I once was
短歌
looking for a place
where I will be who I am
not knowing a thing
and there I found what I need
when I was told to be me
短歌
so, where do I go?
when I cannot fall asleep?
I am tired of it
but I have to keep going
for life will soon be alright
短歌
I feel somewhat lost
trying to move at all cost
trying to escape
the circle I got stuck with
still fighting, not losing hope
短歌
so I lay outside
looking at the very stars
that knows who I am
more than I even know me
one day, maybe, I will be –
短歌
taken by my mind
to a bay I always knew
something from a dream
screaming in serenity
longing for it to be real
短歌
so I put aside
all the things I should have
done
looking from outside
to understand what I hide
and why I set it aside
短歌
I look at myself
and I see everyone else
then I looked at you
surrounded by this deep
blue
and I saw myself
短歌
a storm brewing in
for months, it stayed deep
within
but now, it rages
how long will this part go
on?
will I still live? and go on?
Blade Runner

a story of a man who is in a world filled with
uncertainties as he tries to find out if he is
something human.
Year, 2020
open your eyes, stop dreaming
they’re all lies, stop screaming
the past have passed
the future is now present
a curse wrapped as a gift
a gift given to every peasant
cars are still humbled
images which the future defies
the gravity crumpled the memories
and the fantasies fly with its good byes
“where we’re going, we don’t need roads”
because it’s all dust, debris all over the crust
it’s all a bust, for men do it all for lust
it’s all on us, why every gold is married with rust
how can a society be so advance
go backwards as it forwards?
well, what do I know?
this ain’t no place for a hero.
hopped on a train
created by blood with every grain
crowded by strangers of with varying pain
with blank faces, and tears lost in the rain
slaves of our own creations
we are masters of no nations
defined by a single quotation
that leads to our own extinction
what’s real, and what’s not
doesn’t even mean a lot
a man created his equal
his equal, unparalleled
leaving his creator’s blood
in every component, a flood
this draws a line
between you and I
but as we talk
look eye to eye
there’s nothing left for me to do
when you are much better
with everything that I’m supposed to do
now, we’re all children of men
as you show the cards on your deck
hardly yours before
but in our memories it is,
for it is what you have you stored
our stories will soon be Jurassic
as yours park its writings on our attic
soon you will be real
and I will be the myth
I love how you show me the best
As you bring the beast out of me
as you put the rage in between what I could be
but age seems to be in favour of your beauty
I’m all alone until you came
You made me feel something real
while we’re in this reel
I love you
and
I hate you
for we are not the same
do you hear the symphony?
from machines hitting its high gear
the rhythm of humanity
lost in the very serenity
of a black water that was once clear
now that a mirror is made
between the two of us
we cannot run anymore
from the blade of an unknown trust
wake up
it’s a new year they say
still wearing the same tee
as the memories stay
what the fuck will be different today?
I’m surrounded by them
who are more human than me
maybe
maybe I’m going crazy
I feel like an alien
in my own reality
right now, it’s just me
in this room of uncertainty
it’s spreading, it’s taking over
I don’t know what this means
seems like it’s seeking for closure
now, the water is coming out
the spots reddening
like somehow, someway
it’s trying to shout
but no one hears
and no one sees
but me.
and only me.
it’s been three days
but the tree stay the same
dotted at almost every single frame
is there a way out of this?
can we stop it?
Shit.
I don’t know.
my mind is filled with dots
just like my skin
my eyes are still wide open
but can someone please, if you please
wake me up from this fucking dream
now it feels like
we’re slowly marrying our bed
whenever I stand up
I feel like I’m dead
a word that was slashed
by the sword of your truth
all of this splashed
because I took a bite from that fruit
shoot
here it goes again
stop this fucking pain
where this leads is beyond our minds
seems like a great topic for a symposium
where this leads is beyond our hearts
once the paranoia explodes
there it begins
the much awaited pandemonium
the wings of the dragons, humbled
bathing with its own blood
and the images of the past
drowns my mind with a flood
of tears married with my fears
and my peers carry the spears
that was once a part of me
now they are apart from me
I’m all alone and lonely
What are you?
Who are you?
your eyes materialized
a hammer that broke the iced wall
that blocks the fall of the stars
that I always try to call
what have you done?
will you ever be gone?
If not
stay
if we can no longer
play tag with time
can we just live
like there is no existence of crime?
the rhyme stays with the time
that says it’s time to do it
before it is all too late
forget the word quit
remove it from your plate
draw the skies with a rainbow
where it doesn’t have any ending
for it to overshadow hue
with beds for one another
few more days left
and it will all be over
so take that step
and start all over
now it is all over
no more words to use
no more scenes for clues
what more to write?
quiet
listen to my actions
look
close your eyes to the tensions
the time is heading to zero
as the lights feel like people
who were once here
who we all used to hear
what’s happening?
is it, could it be,
is this the day you’ve been waiting for?
but why is everything out of beat?
if this is really the day
am I ready for what’s in store?
WAIT.
THE WRITINGS ARE RUNNING.
SOMETHING IS COMING.
IS THIS THE ONE WE ARE WAITING FOR?
the skies are painted with clouds from our
mouth
as the colors present the shroud from the south
and what’s from the north shall see its rebirth
for it is the rise of the living dead
and the fall of the artificial
in their proper beds
now, my eyes are on a mission
as reality bends for the sake of someone’s
fantasy
the war within his thoughts
the war he questions in his heart
is now upon me
in front of me
am I ready for this?
united with the sun
as the lights passes through everyone
a silhouette rose from the thorns of the fishes
with a hand signaling a “war for peace”
and there it all goes.
the MADE, faces their makers.
an hour and a half later
a year of mistakes took over
the reality finally kicks in
that there are fantasies
that lie from within
now it is all a wasteland
a life of unknown
a world that stands
and eventually falls
back at it again
with stars falling from my eyes
now, who will be the hero?
If this place is not made for one?
now, my chances are zero
and the saviours are gone.
a day late
for something not so great
a poetry from someone
who was once one
a poetry from someone
who is now no one.
with a pen and a paper
what’s then, seems later
everything about the past
is now present to the future
a breathing, yet coded creature
turned out to be the catalyst
that starts a new culture
the sickness, the darkness
travelled faster than the light
as the sun fade to nothingness
forbidden to define the word bright
with all the skyscrapers
comes all these non-believers
holding on to a faith of the past
just so the economy will last
and then the lights came back
to spotlight where the attack lasted for days
those who won are still far from their winning
ways
losing the days that was once theirs
sacrifice for victory
lose for winning
there goes the teacup
falling to the shadows of the unknown
pushed by the words that I once have known
oblivious of the fact that the true was a lie
just before he could learn how to fly
the teacup shatters.
the darkness caved in
the pain slithered in
like a snake whose venom
caused a carnage
revealing the parasite from within
Is the year right?
For us to have so much light?
most of our lives can barely turn bright
as the venom flows in red water
no matter what’s on your shoulder
everything feels a lot heavier
the world witnessed
a world that insisted to be born
in between every thorn of a storm
a new chapter will begin
for a man who counts
electric sheep after electric ship
just for him to dream
days have passed
he is still sitting on the same bed
with the same woman
trying to rewind the voices in his head
a past that was present
while he thinks of their future
the last breath of lies and secrets define a
culture
from a scenery viewed as the one
but a cloud of him being the only one
he stood up
grabbed his coat
and went to oblivion
she stayed
seeing her dreams
deprived of any reason
once the dream ended
the vision closed
a mission failed
a world broken, broken again.
she was left, all on her own.
the paths crossed again
love and temptation
blurred lines in ignition
realizations after every misconception
bodies are down
faces filled with a frown
a crying clown
and a silent queen without a crown
he returned
to her delight
now, will he ever leave?
or, will he, continue to believe?
the clock is ticking, still.
is there any time left?
I still can’t remember
was I, awake the whole September?
what I feel
is all a nightmare
in the dark
I saw her
but here presence wasn’t there
as I remain unaware
of the revolution
against the evolution
of plastic silverware
his eyes talked
his mind walked
to the stories his eyes have told
a river of life
setting a date for death
and he kisses the smoke
from the dragon’s breath
the wasteland is looking for scavengers
and his blade is enough for the runners
fueled by redemption
inspired by a realization
that
“reality is not reality itself”
for artificial is where no natural is left
the view of the evening
images of selling
visuals of a beginning
but the ending
is left behind
in the dust
of
mankind
for the world will now be inhabited
by the superior kind.
the breeze that he once showered
the water he once breathes
the truth the he once lied about
is all a lie with a truth inside and out
Is it worth fighting for?
Altered memories, is that really what’s in store?
the shade of every color
the front is entirely different in its core
is the past genuine?
when it is written by ink
by the very ink
filled with lies
the stars lined up in his eyes
constellations of dead beings
hotter when in blue
everything fits like his own shoe
how can something
be so beautiful from afar
would be so close in being
the reason for your very last scar
play the game
before it plays you
say my name
before it speaks you
for a name
is not an identity
even the tongue of his mother
remembers, but decided to forget
how to even bother
travelled across the roads
of highs and lows
with loads on his shoulder
eyes that breaths like a river
swimming in the flood
for what is in store
even if in the end
a treasure is unsure
NO INK.
IN A WINK.
WHAT WAS ONCE ONE.
IS.
NOW.
ALL.
GONE.
with all the voices in my head
the smoke breathing in my lungs
the pain swimming in my heart
how the fuck am I still alive?
Smile?
Frown?
what’s the difference?
if it’s all done by the mask
rather than a straight face
a face whose phase
is out of pace
and pasted
now
I’m wasted
words of a man that grew as an artificial
with realism that was once beneficial
a life form, so to speak
with punctuations forgotten
whenever they speak
almost forgot
been through heaven and hell simultaneously
gave all that I have
and now I’m in
a world that is just a crack of reality
is the time running out for me?
my eyes flowed with every drop of the rain
lost in time, with every rise of the pain
when the chances lose its number
what more is there to remember?
should I still hang on to this thread?
a thread sharper than a knife?
or
is this
or is this my life?
poisoned by pleasure
devoured by pressure
caught on act
and suddenly
forgot how to act
if only I could take it back
if only I could, but, tick tock
doesn’t ring backwards for any clock
and the trick clock lost all of its magic
what more to say
when words will never
ever
find a way
to say
why I feel this way
just.
please.
don’t take her away.
reunited
joy.
stories.
for a moment
when it’s time to go back
I found myself under attack.
56 | E l r a y A l c a n t a r a
when will we quit again?
when there is no more chance
for an again
there are no more reasons to continue
time to say goodbye to what was once you
go
while there is still
a little bit of color of what was once you.
LIGHTS OUT.
EVERYDAY.
EVERYDAY.
LIGHTS OUT.
coins overpopulate my pockets
time is creating keyless lockets
what more to do
what more to say
need to see the patient.
.
.
.
.
to find signs if there’s any left of my patience.
shuffle before you stumble
crumple the paper
before the poems crumble
or forever be lost in the bubble
cards of misdirection
and challenges live
better think it through
before you get stuck
before you become unable to leave
for victory needs proof
before you learn to believe
AND
WHAT
SHOULD
I
WRITE
I
CANNOT
SEE
LIGHT
a paradise of imagination
for a price lesser than the incarnation
brought to you by
a story yet to be unknown
a story that was once unknown
willing to kill
just to feel guilt
just to feel alive
just feel that he isn’t a clone.
the light has returned
the flies are now burned
the giant wins against the dark
the light returned
but what will happen next
to the bulb that only works at night?
His words returned
for another chance
will this be it?
or will this be another hit?
this is the last page of the story
about a man that is almost human
realizing everything
after fighting his demons
and returning to His creator
finally, human –





